Tuesday, June 20, 2006
i see clearly
9:02 PM
when kids are young, their parents know them best. kids can't lie to their parents or so they say.
then as you get older, it's the other way round. kids start to know their parents better then they know them. and since they can't lie and parents don't like what they hear, they just get slapped.
why is it so hard to try and make you see? you always tell me to stop and reflect upon myself. i have. why don't you try doing the same? tell me my mistakes. walk a mile in my shoes. you only know how to think about you, yourself, your views, your problems and your side of the story. who's the self centred one? you only like to distort views to suit your image.
i've seen your side of the argument. i understand why you're angry. why don't you try doing the same? maybe "I Not Stupid 2" was just a fucking waste of money. regardless of what i do, you'll always be right. always. i've said it before and i always emphasize the importance of treasuring things that are still there when you have them. if i'm gone tomorrow will you have any regrets? i'm sure i won't when you are. i've already spent a lifetime of effort on trying to get the both of you to SEE. and i've been disappointed to the point that i'm the brink of just giving up altogether. and you have the cheek to even ask me why doesn't keith talk to you anymore.
i won't dwell on petty details. but if you're going to continue like this, i think no one will want to be your kids. stop living in your stupid protective bubble. it's going to pop one day and your world will come crashing to the floor.
it's an irony. my eyesight gets worse each day and yet i see more clearly than ever.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Six Feet From The Edge
12:05 AM
Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkingone last breath by creed. or six feet from the edge to some. i finally understand what it means. when only the six feet matter. because once you've made it there, you're free. free from everything. no more worries or grievances. everything doesn't matter anymore.
it's kinda scary... not that i was contemplating suicide or anything. but when nothing makes sense and you want everything to just disappear, there's always the other alternative. you. disappear.
i got into a fight with my mum. over what? not waking up and going to school. yeah. it's a long story. and i played this song immediately after she left. i guess that's why i could relate to it suddenly. the only thing keeping my sanity in place nowadays is her. no, not my mum. -.-
i'm really lucky to have her. people always say i take things for granted. i beg to differ. i know what are the importants things in life and how much they matter. maybe they're the ones taking things for granted... for me, treasuring every second every breath is part of my daily routine. i don't love life. but i try to make sense of it. and sometimes that gives me the extra push i need.
i've found my wings.
lone wolf syndrome.
