Saturday, May 31, 2008
4:11 PM
I don't live a fairytale life.
An idealist stuck in a realist world.
Sometimes, I wonder, who the fuck am I?
lone wolf syndrome.
9:13 AM
Pretty girls = bad news.
Manipulative, bitchy, calculating, cock teasing, lying, triple faced sluts.
You'll never find average chicks daring enough to do these. It's always the oh-so-pretty, "cream of the crop". The same probably applies to the attractive males.
Why is the world so screwed up?
Why do the people who are blessed with good looks, the ones who are so insecure?
What an irony. I'd blame God if I believed in him. Meh.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
10:20 PM
Slowly increasing the number of statics I do everyday. Hope to see improvement in muscle tone on the arms/chest at least.
Had to run after the bus today when I missed it. Chased it to the next bus stop and felt
really winded after that. Guess I'm fugging out of shape :/ Or it might be due to the fact I'm not feeling well.
Need sleep, need fun.
Whatever the hell happened to the 2s27 clubbing on Friday? Cancelled? Still there? No news. Better have backup plans.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
10:10 PM
Keyaki today at Pan Pac.
Service was horrible. Double standards for locals and foreigners.
Food was still acceptable. It had better be for what we were paying.
I'm never going back because of the terrible service again. Miyabi would be a suitable substitute. It's cheaper, the staff know us and it's less crowded.
Bye Keyaki, your loss. My parents patronize you close to 50 times a year and blow at least 1k each time. Your loss. Double standards indeed.
My younger bro is transferring to St. Gabes. He dyed his hair. He's only in Sec 1.
I can't stand it when people, especially those close to me, turn out to become average joes and janes. No personality, no individuality. No character.
I never gave in to peer pressure. It's always been my way or the highway. What's the point of being like everyone else? Being yourself doesn't mean being different nor does it mean being the same. It means doing what you like, what you feel comfortable with.
I'm not different, I'm me. So screw you and your labels. Like it or not, I'm here to stay.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
10:41 PM
Sentosa: Fun, tiring.
No sunburn, actually rained AGAIN today.
Played captain's ball, ultimate frisbee, some volleyballing around as well.
I realised, I miss being in a relationship. I miss having someone being there for me.
But I don't want to delve into another. I'm not ready yet. I don't know how to trust someone when they tell me that they love me. I can't. Not now anyway.
I need sleep. Seriously need sleep.
lone wolf syndrome.
9:52 AM
Woah.
I took a nap at 6.30pm last night and set my alarm to wake me up at 7.15
I got up at 7.15 alright. Today. @_@
I must've slept like a rock. This lack of sleep is really killing me :/
Sentosa outing with 2s27 today. Will update when I'm back.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
10:57 PM
Caught up with a 3 hour nap today @_@
Ops package for reservists, came home REALLY early :D
Sigh. Need stuff to do, people to meet and go out with. Can't be just rotting at home everyday! And no clubbing for now. Screws up my sleeping schedule.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Vesak
12:00 AM
Vesak Day = wasted holiday for me.
Prayed around (um, sounds weird) the whole day.
She finally revealed her blog to me! Haha. It's nothing big, but at least I know what's going on in her life now, especially since she'll be gone to Vietnam for a while.
Feeling really fatigued recently. I can't tell if it's due to the diet or exercise part of my "Get-in-shape" regime. Been taking much less carbo and staying off eating unneccessary stuff. LIVE Run and gym in camp 3 times a week and soccer on weekends (although it's sometimes only 10 minutes of actual game time :/). I've actually lost 3kg in one week because of that! :O But yeah... been feeling awfully shagged and tired recently.
Maybe it's the late nights? Well, should get sleep now in that case.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 19, 2008
12:25 AM
Pissed off after reading these.
http://sgforums.com/forums/1390/topics/265592
http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/archive/index.php/t-19459.html
Let me ask these people then. What do you do after you get your 3SG? Go to BMTC and teach recruits?
Service specs are still specs. As Transport trained personnel,
We move the Army. Are the infantry men going to hike from base camp to the frontlines? Are they going to carry 5 weeks worth of supplies with them?
We don't go through "theory courses" like you suggest. We have Ops training, albeit different from that in SISPEC and infantry schools, but our area of expertise is different as well. If you think topography is difficult, try vehicle topography. Camouflage? Try vehicle camouflage. SOC? Try 5 ton tyre rotation.
If you think we're incompetant in combat, then good luck to you. We're the one's protecting our own assets i.e. vehicles, stores and troops. When we get ambushed, we're the ones who will lead the men to protect the assets ground troops
desperately need. We're the ones with the know-how to defend a convoy from enemy attacks. We're the ones tasked to bring you your supplies.
Our mission is the same. But our ways of contribution are different. You fight. We give you the stuff you need to fight with, to carry on the battle. We
must succeed, or you'll fail automatically, without rations, without ammo, without reinforcements.
Don't you
dare look down on us because we haven't been through BSLC/ASLC. Our rank is earned on our own right. We may not be trained in the same thing as you, but the same can be said for you.
I'm a CSS 3SG, and I'm freaking proud of it. Don't you
dare mock us.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
11:31 PM
Watched Made Of Honor yesterday.
It really got me thinking about some things.
And in movies, nice guys don't always end up first. Watch and you'll understand.
This is a romcom that I enjoyed. And I normally hate romance movies, because to me, they're all hogwash. Regardless of whether I'm single or if I'm attached, no romance movies for me. It'll just make you start wondering why your own love life isn't so dramatic/interesting/blah.
Movies are movies.
When everything feels like the movies... Yeah, you'll bleed just to know you're alive.Real life, is real life.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:32 AM
The Monty Hall problem is flawed.
Sticking to a decision when presented with an eliminated choice is making a new decision, not just sticking to your old decision.
Youtube Monty Hall problem.
Flawed, flawed, flawed. Just trying to confuse people by playing with statistics.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
9:25 PM
What's the point of letting me "run" the thing when you write the story? You're the author and I'm just a narrator. It's pointless.
Things like this that really make me feel like quitting this hobby. I signed up as a player. I only volunteered to be the storyteller because you went to NS and no one else seemed capable enough to do it. Now you're back, and you want it to be your show again. But you don't want to "take" back the position from me. Take it I say, a position is useless if it's in namesake only.
You're my shadow government, and I'm the pawn. Not the players.
lone wolf syndrome.
7:32 PM
I didn't see the CJC girls again! :(
"That one not bad, right?"
"Ya, but not my type."
:O NOT BAD IN UNIFORM. THAT'S THE GODDAMN FUCKING COMPLIMENT OF THE YEAR! :D
They probably thought I didn't notice them or didn't hear them cos I was listening to music. But I didn't see them again today. Oh well.
Last night, I spent time in bed thinking alot. About you, about us. I know one thing's for sure, you loved me. For maybe 2 years or so, you loved me. I've never had anyone treat me the way you do before. I have to say, I don't think I can ever meet anyone who can treat me the same way again. You're the first person to love me like that, and I'll never forget it. I don't care if you feel that you didn't love me as much as I loved you. The fact that you even did makes you special.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
11:04 PM
I really dislike this feeling.
It's a uncomfortable growling somewhere below my chest.
It's me asking myself: "Will you ever find someone who'll cherish you?"
It's me and my insecurities. Me and my flaws, me and my scars.
I'm not the brave, confident, positive person you know. I'm not the gung-ho, let's-do-this, inspirational leader.
I'm just an insecure kid. Who takes his life for granted, his wealth, his parents. I'm the guy who has everything in the world and still wants more.
I figure why everyone says I'm old beyond my years. Because I am. I've probably been through alot more than most people my age. Seen much more, been jaded, disillusioned much more.
There's nothing really left in life for me. I've got no dreams, no aspirations. I only hope that I can find someone who can be content with me and I can be content with. The only thing keeping me together sometimes is the fact that I don't want to believe that's all there is. I don't want to give up on this stupid, disappointing ride; hoping all I've seen is not all there is, that's there's more.
Yeah, why the heck am I even emo? I don't know. It's just that when I'm having fun, enjoying myself, I don't really stop to think how empty my life is. When I finally get a break, it's back to nothing. Is everyone really like that? Are there a billion people in the world who are just like me? Empty and crying out for help? It seems so weird if I was the only one.
Someone,
something. Give me meaning. Give me a reason to live.
lone wolf syndrome.
9:28 PM
Hah. Taken for granted again.
Are all women the same? Have to lose something before they start to appreciate it? It's concern, not control. It's care, not possessiveness.
Nehmind.
Maybe the right one is out there somewhere and I haven't met her yet. Where's the person who'll cherish me when I'm still there?
I don't need someone to take the limo with me, I need someone who's willing to take the bus with me when the limo breaks down.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
10:08 PM
You'll always be a big part of my life. I hope that whatever you do or whatever happens, I made you a better person.
Rachie's advice:
R A C H I E says:
she's hooking you up
R A C H I E says:
yet looking for other options
R A C H I E says:
lose her
So... did I waste my time again? Well, time will tell. You seem to be getting kinda bored with me already. Maybe it was just the rebound after all. It's ok :) I know what I was getting myself into.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 12, 2008
9:12 PM
How do you describe what you feel when you feel nothing at all?
lone wolf syndrome.
3:36 AM
Sigh. No more Ironman.
I feel like giving up on this "dating" status thing. It's really a one way affair; reminds me of
someone. I can't tell if she's really interested anymore. She's so much closer to other guys than me. Yeah, I get jealous sometimes.
Better quit while you're not in love yet, Bryan. Better quit while you're ahead. It's less painful that way. You learnt that the
hard way.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
6:22 PM
St. James tonight, sentosa tomorrow! :D AND IRONMAN! FINAL-FUCKING-LY!
Cooked for the family, especially for my mum today :)
My grandmas complimented my cooking! *head swells* Fried udon recipe, courtesy of SSG Aaron :P Used a little too much oil when cooking the large portion though and had to drain it :x
Ok, so it's spaghetti tomorrow for Belle. Hmm. Decided not to do meatballs cos I have no idea how to prepare them. Probably boil but that would take the flavour away. So minced chicken meat, mushrooms and tomatoes :)
IF YEN CAN COOK, SO CAN YOU!
lone wolf syndrome.
1:40 AM
Failed range :(
13/28
One shot to pass and 3 shots left and I missed everything :'(
Oh well.
Sometimes, life without someone to love you feels very gao wei. I think back about times with her sometimes. Cuddling and just being comfortable with each other. I really miss having someone like that to be with :(
Sigh. Oh well, what's gone is gone. Look for forward to the future.
I know my heart isn't dead yet, because I still can hope :)
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Back to normal?
10:04 PM
Huh. So weird.
Tomorrow is a recce day. Again. Blah.
WHEN CAN I WATCH MY IRONMAN? GODDAMMIT! D:
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Self monologue on IRC
8:26 AM
Because I know no one can read this.
<_dash> へんてこで
<_dash> おはいよ!
<_dash> いまどき, みんなげんきか?
<_dash> しんに... いまどきおれてざわりもうかなしいで... =(
<_dash> ほんとうおかしいで... おれここくうそうくうそ...
<_dash> じぶんきょうじぶんかたりだ
.
<_dash> へんてこで?
<_dash> Sigh.
Hontou wa jibun
kyou jibun katari. Ore hontou wa baka...
Sabishii da.
Sigh.
lone wolf syndrome.
