That's definitely not things I look for in a girlfriend.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
9:20 PM
Gotta find a way Yeah, I can't wait another day And nothin' gonna change If we stay around here Gotta do what it takes Cause all in our hands We all make mistakes, yeah But it's never to late to start again Take another breath And say another prayer
Then fly away from here Anywhere Yeah, I don't care We'll just fly away from here Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere Won't let time pass us by We'll just fly
If this life Isn't hard enough It ain't no nevermind You got me by your side And anytime you want Yeah, we can catch a train and find a better place Yeah, cause we won't have nothin' or no one keep gettin' us down Maybe you and I Could pack our bags and hit the sky
Then fly away from here Anywhere Yeah, I don't care We'll just fly away from here Our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere Won't let time pass us by We'll just fly
Didn't you see your blue sky now You could have a better ride now Open your eyes Cause no one here can better or stop us They can try but we won't let them No way
Maybe you and I Could pack our bags and say goodbye
Then fly away from here Anywhere Honey, I don't care We'll just fly away from here Our hope and dreams are out there somewhere Fly away from here Yeah, anywhere Honey, I don't, I don't, I don't yeah
We'll just fly...
lone wolf syndrome.
Jaded
5:25 PM
Like the Aerosmith song, that's how I've been feeling recently.
Music doesn't interest me anymore. My mind's a constant blank. In my free time, I end up doing nothing.
It's weird. It's like I have no purpose in life suddenly and I'm just living day to day, waiting for things to happen.
I thought I was over this phase already and decided to get back on track with my life, but it's happening again. Or maybe it's one of those things that come and go.
Also, I've been thinking about some pretty depressing things lately. Like how everybody is the main character of their own story, own life, I somehow came to the possibility that I'm not protagonist material, that maybe I don't deserve my own story. I'm aware of how scary that sounds, how... self-condescending it seems. It's like I'm shooting myself down, not giving myself a chance to make a choice; which is totally not like me at all.
Yeah. I don't know what's wrong with me recently.
I dunno if it's just fatigue from being in the Army, or the recent string of exercises. I feel like I don't really have any real friends suddenly, like I'm alone, I'm different from everyone else.
Maybe it's not just my imagination. Maybe I'm the type who should sit on the curb and clap.
"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, June 23, 2008
10:07 PM
Totally shagged recently.
Exercise after exercise, stay-in, duty, blah.
I need a break. I think it's a good time to draw from my 11 days of leave.
Would be good to spend some time with her after these 2 weeks as well.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, June 20, 2008
4:40 AM
I wonder if I'll be single for much longer?
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Unlimited Blade Works
10:53 PM
"I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to death.
Nor known to life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet, those hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, "Unlimited Blade Works."
It's time to get a copy of Fate/Stay Night :D
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, June 16, 2008
10:43 PM
I asked her to accompany me to Raymond's wedding dinner... AND SHE SAID YES!
... I don't know if that's like an obvious hint or whatever.
But a wedding dinner. With no one you know. That's going to take ages. Of a couple you haven't even met.
And I asked and it was a "Ok."
It's like that time, when I asked her out clubbing with S27. No one she knows besides me and she said yes anyway.
Going out alone with me, to accompany me to shop, although we ended up just eating, talking and playing arcade in the end.
Sometimes, I wonder if it's just me or is she really dropping hints. Or it's a blatant announcement and I'm too dense to understand it.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:20 AM
You're such a mystery sometimes.
You make me wanna hope again.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
3:36 PM
I miss having someone by my side.
Miss having someone to talk to; someone who doesn't mind you bugging them with calls, messages.
And yet, at the same time, I'm afraid that having someone like that means you have to deal with the fact that you may have to lose someone like that.
Is it really better to have loved and lost than never loved before?
Once you know love, it becomes unbearable living without it. If you never know what it feels like, never seen how happy people can be with it, would you long for it in the first place? I really don't know.
Sometimes when I'm standing at certain important crossroads of my life, I choose to take the "safe" path; at other times I choose to take the "risky but with better rewards" path. I've come to realise that the idiom "once bitten, twice shy" holds true for so many of these choices in life.
As we go through life, we become increasingly jaded and disillusioned with what this world has to offer us. It may be good, it may be bad. I gave up gambling because of a bad decision once; positive example. But there are possibly good things in life I've given up because of this fear of lightning striking twice. I don't trust people as easily now, for e.g.
Ignorance is really bliss. Ignorance of failure means you'll never be afraid, because you never know the possibility of something you doing not succeeding. At the same time, the discovery of such a possibility, especially in failures you never thought would occur, shake your foundation of trust to the very core. Faith. Conviction. You yourself are not so sure about these "infallible" things anymore. Is anything really infallible in this world? In a world governed and created by fallible creatures like man, can anything really be trusted?
Can you even trust your distrust? What if you pass up on the opportunities of your life because you trust your distrust so much? Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Maybe one day, I'll understand better. Or understand through not understanding.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
1:51 PM
Maybe I don't have hope anymore.
I've seem to already accepted the fact that I may never have a happy ending.
