Sunday, December 28, 2008
3:05 AM
Yep, it's fact.
My mind seems to operate at it's peak when I'm tired. And not just any ordinary tired, the "I'm-so-tired-I-actually-don't-feel-like-sleeping" tired. The jittery, hyperactive feeling that you get when you don't have enough sleep for a long time.
The world seems to slow down, my thoughts seem to process smoother and I can't get anymore stressed out.
It's like being high on some stimulant.
Heh.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
12:29 AM
It's been about 5 or 6 months since we got together. I somehow feel you're a little more indifferent sometimes, a little more independent.
Maybe this is the fabled "cooling off" period, the transition phase after the honeymoon period. I guess it's a test for the both of us.
Let's get through it together, dear. I know we can :)
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
11:25 AM
Some people grow up, some people grow down.
I think I just ceased to care anymore.
In a world full of asswipes, some of us have to be the shit, some of us have to be the ass. Or, we could just join the asswipes.
I finally realised why I get the feeling that my life is lacking something, why I feel so pissed off almost every other day.
Because I tried to changed and control what I couldn't. Fuck the tards that want to wither and die, or just lepak their lives away. Fuck the asshats that think they're growing up, when they just get blinder than blind.
I don't want to be one of them; I nearly did. So what if you can type lyrical nonsense that sounds so "jazzy" cool and poet-chic if no one understands what the flying fuck you're trying to say?
Let me just put it "straight-straight": Go fuck yourselves, I'm done actively trying to make a change. I think I'll just wait for people who deserve to be saved.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
8:03 PM
Heh. Only 5 more months before I'm a civilian again. I want to get my driving license ASAP after that. Kinda hard to juggle a social life, rest, work AND driving lessons at the moment.
Friends come, friends go. It's quite amusing to see how some of them turned out, sometimes I end up pleasantly surprised that nerds turn into hunks, quiet schoolgirls turn into babes, or even, horrified to find out it's the other way round :/
As for me... Hm. I guess I'm a constant, still the same, cynical, smart assed, arrogant, SOB I've been for a couple of years now. I like it that way. I'm not too unassuming to miss, not too flashy to pick out straight away. I like being the somebody you recognise, the nobody you remember. If I matter, I'll matter. If I don't, then I won't try to. In this world where everyone's caught up trying to be the best, I guess I'm contended with being no. 2 or even in the middle positions as long as it's a race that holds no important meaning to me. That doesn't mean I "choose" not to win because I can't. Simply because I can't be bothered to.
What's the deal with being Mr or Ms Popularity? Or the MVP of the school team? Or other junk like that? People will remember you not because you mattered, but because they cared. Once they stop caring, it's all over. What's the point of being a WAS when you can be a AM? Phht. Things like that, I really can't be fucked.
Yeah, anyway, days are really crawling by now. Going one day at a time, just biding my time till I'm free from these invisible chains. Trying to work on important things like her, like making some spare cash to blow on a holiday once I'm out, like hanging out with people I enjoy hanging out with and people that I used to enjoy hanging out with but lost touch.
After being through a slew of wedding dinners this year, I really thought long and hard about one thing. Who'd I ask to be my "brothers" if I got married. Besides my actual brother, I could only think of a few names. Alex, Sam, Wei Long, maybe Ho Lun and Ashley. That ain't alot :/ But these are people I know I can count on when I really need help, guys wise anyway. I don't really have any close females friends, I guess friendship with females is always a different thing altogether. And since I partially believe in Ladder Theory, I guess it's sad to say I must've had the animal instinct to do any close female friends once in my life :x Ouch.
Anyways, signing off to play some Rappelz and maybe PW or Dota. Till next time.
lone wolf syndrome.
