Monday, February 09, 2009
10:26 PM
Purpose is what defines us. It consumes us, it becomes us. And often for many people, purpose is the reason that they exist.
Their whole existence is defined by the purpose they find. For the futureless lady who distributes TODAY newspapers at Sembawang MRT, her purpose is making sure the papers get distributed at the right time. It makes her delusional, it makes her think that ensuring that the papers get distributed at 0730Hrs every day will ensure that the world will not fall into utter chaos. It makes her think that she's important in the face of things. It gives her power to order people not to take the papers. It empowers her.
Before you laugh at the lady. Look at yourself. Look at your purpose.
There are millions, no.
Billions of people in this world that live for purposes like those. That's wrong.
You don't define your life over a single thing, a chore, a simple task, a place, a set of written rules or anything that is so... trivial. What is true purpose?
I honestly, can't tell you. I go through life without a purpose, but I don't feel as though I don't exist. I don't have something I passionately want to die for, want to kill for. I think the truer purpose in life, is when you don't know what it , and you're in the process of looking for one.
True purpose however... needs something else. It isn't something that gets you through everyday, that manages just get you by. True purpose is power. True purpose is instinctive. In that sense, humans as we are, can only have 2 forms of true purpose; the desire to surpass and the desire to preserve.
And I have both. I want to be the best, no matter what I do, even with my own limited physical ability. And there are things that I want to protect, even if it means having to change other things. I'm not saying I'm unique, there are probably others like me. But I will leave them behind in the dust. I will protect what's dear to me if it means breaking down their important things. I will, not because I can, but because I must.
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Wow, I don't know what consumed me to write this today. It's that niggling feeling that you just have to say something, do something when you see people going around so proud of their accomplishments over something so trivial. Everyone will only see what they see and cannot see what they cannot see. I don't want to be like everyone; or I will never better them, I will never surpass them. I want to see and understand
everything; I want to know because to know is to be powerful.
The birds in the sky should not be bothered by the insects on the ground.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
6:53 PM
You know, unlike many people who lose their "innocence", I never really believed in a God in the first place.
I did once believe in karma though, I still do to a smaller extent.
I don't have a bubble to live in, I don't have faith to keep me on my feet.
I don't help because I think, I'll be getting something back in return, I help because I want to.
There's a phrase in the Diamond Sutra that literally translates to "If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha; if you meet the patriarchs, kill the patriarchs; if you meet an Arhat, kill the Arhat; if you meet your parents, kill your parents…  in this way, you attain liberation."
It's very true. If you take something for what it is, it will always be only as much as what you took it for. If you "kill" it however, it takes on a whole different form, you're presented with so many other perspectives to view things from.
Like Bruce Lee said, "Be water, my friend."
lone wolf syndrome.
