I'm reminded how that there are things in life you cannot change through your will alone again.
Isn't that right, D.?
No matter how hard you try, sometimes, it won't work.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
1:29 AM
Staying up late again because I hate to sleep.
When the bad memories come back, I hate to sleep.
So I stay up for no reason, doing nothing. Till I get so tired, I have to sleep anyway.
Sometimes, I really really hate myself.
And I was a happy boy.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, March 29, 2010
10:37 PM
I finally understand this song.
lone wolf syndrome.
10:33 PM
I don't know why I still think of you despite knowing it's over.
It feels odd suddenly not calling you to talk.
There's alot more I want to say... but. What's the point?
You don't read this. Nobody reads this.
I need to stop thinking.
I just have to pretend that it was all a dream. A very real, very vivid dream.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:03 PM
Bah, stop telling me what to do.
I'm not that type of person.
I'm a nice guy through and through.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
9:57 PM
Haha, of all people to give me some consolation, my mum did :)
Thanks mum, love you deep deep :P
Although I know you said what you said because I'm your son :) I don't think I'm good looking; merely average. As for the part about I'll definitely find someone good... well, I really have no comment. Sometimes you never know.
But I believe that if someone can't accept me at my worst, they certainly don't deserve me at my best. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life, then have to put up with someone who doesn't appreciate me.
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:19 PM
That's that I guess.
Looking at my phone trying to decide whether I should keep your number or not.
Since you're not going to reply or call back, what's the point?
I thought you were different from the rest.
Looks like I was wrong after all.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
7:38 PM
心很烦.
I don't know how to describe this feeling.
It feels the same as the feeling I had before, but it's different.
It's... so much more less of a emotion. Like how your blistered foot tends not to hurt much after hours of walking around with it.
Getting used to it, they call it.
Getting used to the same old shit, over again.
lone wolf syndrome.
6:08 PM
In the end, you are still my best companion.
This space in cyberspace.
lone wolf syndrome.
5:35 PM
It's always the same.
Fly high, fall hard.
I should just give up :) I'll be happier person that way.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, March 26, 2010
2:35 AM
I wrote this for you has not churned up any good stuff lately. A little disappointed.
It's a dream job though. Write a couple of lines accompanied with a photograph, fill it with emotion, real emotions. Ones that everyone has experienced before.
And sit back and wait for the money to come in.
Damn, I would want a job like that too. Not only is it doing what I would like, it's easy and it gets food on the table.
Time to go to bed I guess. Have a bit of stuff to do tomorrow despite not having school.
Good night world.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
12:45 AM
I feel uneasy.
Can't remember when was the last time I felt this way.
Because of someone else.
Oh wait, actually I do.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, March 22, 2010
9:01 PM
Tired.
I long for weekends.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:37 AM
I really cannot stand rich playboy types.
Spending their father and mother's hard earnt money to go and sian char bor. The type who get pretty loving girlfriend and can still play around cos they know girls will throw themselves at them.
_|_ Fuck off. Stop wasting your parents money and get a fucking job and earn your own fucking keep. Ya, I am in no position to tell you this because I'm still living off my Mother Father Scholarship but I can definitely tell you that I don't do it even though I had the means.
You make me sick not appreciating what you have.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
11:09 PM
I should really practise something other than jabs all the time.
I want to buy a heavy bag and put it in my room or the hallway just outside my room. MY ROOM as in not my dorm room -.-
But it's going to be SOOOOO FUCKING expensive.
I guess buying mitts would be a first step :/
This could become quite an expensive hobby.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:02 PM
Man, so damn tired.
Went out to catch Kaiji yesterday with the girl I asked out. Wasn't as good as expected.
Then sent her back to Chao Chu Kang before taking the mrt back. It's surprisingly fast with the circle line. About 30-45mins.
Had to wake up 730 this morning for the food hunt nonsense. Actually earlier. Set my phone for 715 but only got up at 730, looool.
Then cabbed down to school from HarbourFront cos I thought I'd be late. Turns out the event took so freaking long to start.
Oh and we just zhaoed halfway through the event after we figured we weren't gonna win shit. Like "Fuck this, let's go home".
Food hunt was kinda fun but at the same time kinda lame I guess. Just going around eating lots of different foods.
Going car shopping tomorrow morning. Hopefully, I'll get my ride next week.
Oh man, I've not finished collating the survey statistics for my Humour project yet and the discussion with the Prof is on Mon. And the presentation is on Tuesday. FML. This week has been one FML event after the other. I honestly cannot wait for this sem to come to an end. I need to parteh baby; holidays come faster dammit.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, March 19, 2010
7:13 AM
Up down up down.
Left right left right.
As long as I don't stop, I'm invincible.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
4:32 PM
Back in my room. Gonna go to the mart to get something to nom nom then zonk out for a bit.
Have to get to copying the formulas for my test tomorrow later. <3 open book tests.
Show me something I've not seen before. Show me something new.
lone wolf syndrome.
10:58 AM
Sick. So fucking sick. Phlegm is supposed to be a sign that you're getting better, but it's making my head feel heavy, my lungs feel clogged and my thinking slow.
I did almost nothing the whole of yesterday but try and get rest and soothe my throat.
Apparently the worst part of getting sick is the recovery part :/
Maybe I should've seen the doc after all.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
3:08 PM
A couple years back now, when I began to write for other projects in film and television aside from LICD & LFG, I was informed that I had to join the Writer's Guild of Canada. This wasn't a choice, mind you, as it was either join the WGC or don't do other projects.
I'll be honest when I say I'm not a fan of what unions have become in this modern day and age. There was a time where they were integral in protecting the rights of the worker but in today's climate, they seem to be just another bureaucratic/quasi-political body more interested in their own administrative positions than anything else.
Nonetheless it was a clear-cut, black or white decision. Despite what I believed, I joined the WGC. I have no doubt that I will continue bitching about that fact for years to come.
I joined the union because I had no other choice in furthering my career.
Several months ago, I made the decision, the choice to apply for associate membership into the NCS (associate because I'm a writer, not a drawing-type person). I wanted to become part of this organization. Not because I had to, or was forced to, but simply because of the members; a group of cartooning professional I've admired and respected since I was but a wee lad.
Last night, I received my acceptance into the NCS and I can't remember the last time I felt so honored, or so humbled.
Two very different organizations with two very different goals. One was pushed on me, while the other I sought out.
Which group do you think I'll invest for time and effort into?
Heh.
The idea of choice has always been a interesting notion to me. Choice to me is what drives us, what gives us reason and purpose.
No choice = no motivation = unhappy.
Choice = motivation = happy.
Looking back at the way I was a couple of years ago, I was happy. I believed in the choices I had and was given. Thinking about it now, I'm a more cynical, more pessimistic person because I believe that the choices I have are illusions. I believe that there is only so much a person can choose. Is the losing of this innocence what separates children from adults?
When you realise you can't choose anymore, you stop being a child?
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:56 PM
I woke up today feeling like shit.
Ok, since I didn't really get much sleep at all, I guess woke up is a wrong choice of words.
Was sneezing and coughing the fuck out of my throat the whole night :(
Woke up today and decided to skip ALL my lessons. 6 hours of lecture down the drain.
Went down to eat Pei Dan Zhou and came back, slept till 1030 then went to the mart and bought Pi Pa Kao. Then slept till 2.
Still feeling fucking sleepy now. Fuck man, I need to go collect the surveys for my project from Xavier later and I have a test and a date on Friday. Why must I be so fucking suay to fall sick now?
Argh. This week has truly been a Murphy's Law week for me.
Words cannot describe how I feel :/
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
12:25 PM
I had a really weird dream about the koi in my house suddenly becoming man eating. There was something else about the dream as well, can't remember it now... It seemed like it was something really important :/
lone wolf syndrome.
12:20 AM
I hate to admit it, but I can't sleep cos I'm nervous.
I really wonder which extreme her reaction will be.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, March 15, 2010
11:40 PM
Wah, wtf is wrong with me.
Is it the lack of working out and exercise in general during hell week?
Just like 20 reps and my muscles are aching already! :/
Bryan Chia, this is damn bad.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:23 AM
Huh.
My heart sank a little reading that.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
8:24 PM
Man, I know I shouldn't get so excited. But I can't help it.
I'm trying to keep in mind the possibility that I may just be let down by my own expectations again.
C'mon Bryan. C'mon.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
1:36 PM
It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock and roll~
Finally, IT project completed. Mad week #1 is over. Now to prepare for mad week #2 and decide whether I want to S/U Mathematics of the Games or Intro to Computing.
Never going to take a maths module again. Stats is ok. Maths is not.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, March 12, 2010
6:47 AM
Research != wikipedia.
Jeez.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
7:11 PM
Wednesdays SUCK.
Nap and then chiong website project.
lone wolf syndrome.
6:48 PM
To the fat fuck today:
If you ever, on a Wednesday, possibly my worst day in a week, possibly even more so than Mondays, rush to a seat and block it when I'm walking to the back of an A1 ISB looking for a seat, of which said seat you give up to a girl who you are obviously interested in and cannot ever get, and then continue to motherfucking block my way to the seat FURTHER BACK which was closer to you as you boarded from the back which you obviously could not take because you were concerned that the girl had to sit next to a guy (aw.) again; I swear to God that I will punch you in your motherfucking fuckface so hard that you won't recognise yourself when you look in a mirror.
Good day.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
1:10 AM
I just keep quiet sometimes.
Because I believe actions speak louder than words.
However, some people's words always speak louder than anyone else's actions.
But since I'm actually someone of little words. One day, you'll realise my actions speak the loudest.
So loud you can't ignore it, so bright you can't help notice it.
But that's only because
You were equally loud and bright to me as well.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, March 08, 2010
8:16 PM
You are nobody's hero. And nobody needs you. Desperately.
It may sound degrading at first. Or even bordering on an insult. But I looked at it carefully and realised how meaningful it is. How meaningful to be a hero to the nobodies.
And you wouldn't know unless you were nobody.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:13 PM
I am soooooo fucking tired. Test on Wed, deadline this week, deadline next week, test next week.
Been getting like 5-6 hours of sleep average on weekdays? Sometimes I make up for it on weekends, sometimes I don't. I didn't this weekend :/
I'm fighting the Z monster and I'm losing :(
I need better weapons and armor! Coffee and power naps :O
Or I need to kill more mini-Z monsters to level up then I can try the final boss!
Or I need more teammates to beat the Z monster together! >:O
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
8:32 PM
lone wolf syndrome.
8:07 PM
I think the song on my blog really suits how I feel.
Jet <3
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, March 05, 2010
3:15 AM
You were the one person who bothered looking for my heart.
When you found it, you picked it up.
Now it's lost again, and waiting for someone to come
And bother
To pick it up.
Sometimes I wonder why
Girls don't like looking
They like waiting for things to happen
But there are many things in this world that you can't wait for
Once they're gone
They're gone.
Then again
There are also many things you can't look for.
If they come
They come.
Sometimes I wonder
if I'm making the right decision waiting for someone to come.
Because I tried looking a couple of times
But got the wrong person each time.
Maybe I'm just being impatient
Afterall, it took a really long time for you to find it.
But on this busy street of life
I sometimes wonder if anyone is going to even bother to stop and look
For something so insignificant
Like you did.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
11:43 PM
Because I'm like the air.
Not easy to touch.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
9:16 PM
Why do I repeatedly continue to have faith in humanity despite being disappointed so many times?
I don't know.
I guess if I give up on humanity, I've already given on the world.
I have to admit. It's very tempting; when you always tell me you miss me.
It's very tempting; when I feel alone.
It's very tempting; to have someone by my side again.
But I'll have to let you know; I miss the feeling of someone being by my side. But that someone doesn't have to be you.
I miss the feeling of having someone who'd hold my arm. But that someone doesn't have to be you.
I miss the feeling of having someone I can talk to. But that someone doesn't have to be you.
I miss the feeling of being loved by someone. But that someone doesn't have to be you.
So don't tempt me. Because I don't want to be in a relationship because I miss being in a relationship. I don't want you to misunderstand.
Sometimes, I debate whether it's a good idea to meet you, knowing fair well the implications behind it. If I really wanted to. I could do the paper cup thing; use and throw.
But I've been the paper cup before, and I know I'd regret it if I ever did it to someone else.
So, sometimes, I think it's really best that you don't tempt me. My advice is don't wait anymore. Move on. I won't force you, but I really hope that for my good as well as yours, that you do.
Don't make this hard on both of us.
lone wolf syndrome.
A man is the sum of his actions
8:25 PM
Wow.
My discipline surprises me.
Maybe it's partially motivated by fear and anxiousness, HAHA.
Then again, whatever makes me study, I'll take. :P
lone wolf syndrome.
2:11 AM
YES. FMA1202H nailed. Now just my PL2131 test on Wed (priority) and the IT1001 project after that. THEN SC1101E next week.
Such a pain in the butt.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, March 01, 2010
10:53 PM
Pain is temporary. Glory is forever.
Reality is now, however.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:03 PM
Getting tired of waiting again.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:53 AM
Staying up late again. Need to get rid of this bad habit of mine.
