Saturday, November 12, 2011
3:01 PM
I guess I finally understand why I read Holyland.
The latest few chapters may seem like some loser pornography i.e. ego masturbation but I understand that feeling perfectly. Only people who've gone through a phase like that, where you're trying to deny yourself what's in front of your eyes because of the fear of past experiences will understand.
It's a mix of self disgust, hurt, terror, yet hope and longing and appreciation. Hope that someone will tear away that layer of filth you've covered yourself with so that everyone will stay away. Hope that someone can actually see the real you, that you've made out to be a horrible person, but you know down inside that actually you're like everyone else. When you want to admit that, yes, this person has finally done what you've always hoped others would but at the very same time denying it because you know there's a possibility he/she's just like everyone else.
That feeling, I bet it's not very common.
lone wolf syndrome.
The Forgotten Feeling
3:30 AM
I know there was something before you. I just can't remember what it was.
lone wolf syndrome.
3:24 AM
Now I had an interesting experience for the first time today.
A hot chick in the club came up to us and started grinding me.
And she wasn't drunk either.
Too bad I was sober and too inhibited to really do anything.
Oh well, better luck next time.
Edit: Oh right, that sometimes worries me if my life is going down that road. You know, that road, the guy you'd love to date and do everything intimate with but never consider a long term relationship. What the hell did I ever do to conjure that type of image?
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, November 06, 2011
3:28 AM
Dare me to move.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, November 05, 2011
2:26 AM
Just as courage is not the absence of fear, but rather knowing that fear exists and still moving forward; happiness is not the absence of sadness, but rather knowing that the sadness exists and still being contented.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:48 AM
I think the one thing people thing most about when they die isn't their legacy.
Or being remembered.
Or being loved.
Or whether life was unfair or not.
Or whether their loved ones will be comfortable, safe, happy, ect.
I think what they think about most is regrets.
If they've had any, they'll think about what they did.
Or what they didn't do.
What they should have done.
On one's deathbed, especially when you know you're going
The one thing I'd want to think about is whether I could leave this world peacefully.
Whether I'd done all I could have done.
Everything else is really secondary, because at the end of the line, that's what matters.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, November 04, 2011
9:11 PM
Rat race paper chase
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
7:02 PM
Why am I always saving people when I can't save myself?
lone wolf syndrome.
