"If someone really loves me, they will accept me for who I am"
How many times have you heard that? It's a sad, self-pitying lie that many people tell themselves to feel better.
I'm not saying it's not true at all though. There is some element of truth that if someone loves you, they will be there for you no matter the consequences beyond your control that have changed the way you've become. They will accept that there are some things that neither of you want, but sometimes inevitably happen. Like a job, or a car accident, or a death in the family causing depression. Yeah, some things.
But the bottom line is that no one, no one in this world, expects you to remain the way you are. They expect you to be a better person. That's the reason why parents push their kids to study, that's the reason friends will tell you off if you've been fucking up your life. Yes, acceptance. But acceptance has its limits too. People can accept you for what you are now, they can accept your flaws, your weaknesses, but that doesn't mean they don't expect you to spend effort to try and change or overcome them. They hope that their acceptance will ring some bells in your head and make you question "Is this what I really want?".
No one is really stagnant. We change don't change with time, we change with experience. And people who love us expect that experience, whether bad or good, to hopefully mould us positively. Even if it doesn't initially, they still bear the hope that it will eventually. That is true acceptance; the hope that whatever happens, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel someday. Yet, we should not take for granted that they are fine the way we are.
If someone really loves you, they will accept you for who you are, but also for who you are going to be.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:46 AM
Don't know where the road ends till you've walked it.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
10:39 PM
Not been worried in a long time to be honest.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, April 23, 2012
10:16 PM
Oh wait, I forgot that there are some people who never learn from their mistakes and just repeat the cycle all over again.
lone wolf syndrome.
10:13 PM
The secret to being happy?
Oh it's easy.
Take things for granted. Make mistakes. Treat people badly. Fuck up. Get hurt. Hurt the right people. Love the wrong people. Disregard others' feelings. Have everything you ever wanted. Lose everything you ever wanted.
Because I've been there and done that. And it's only when you lose the most important things in life, that you start to notice what they are.
It's only then that you will learn to treasure and appreciate them.
side note: so it seems that ironically I was right. The only way to be happy is to be unhappy until you're happy. wtf.
lone wolf syndrome.
9:58 PM
Set a goal and work towards it.
That how you get things started.
And that's how you get things done.
Like "finishing revision".
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
6:56 PM
Oh wells rather than what ifs.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:49 AM
I wish I could just ask you sometimes.
After exams. Not now.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
10:06 PM
Dammit, the assessment of an Aquarius personality totally fits me :/
lone wolf syndrome.
6:47 PM
Do you know why some people cannot sing?
Or rather, why they cannot sing in front of others when they have the most beautiful voices singing by themselves?
It's simple.
It's the same reason footballers cannot perform in front of a crowd, the same reason why artists sometimes don't draw as well with people watching.
It's because the most beautiful moment of expression lies in its authenticity. When people are enjoying themselves doing the things they like or love, they tend to do it better.
But insert an audience, and it becomes a performance, not an expression of your own creativity or feelings.
Because people forget and it constrains them. They forget how important it is to sometimes let go.
To be lost in the act and to sing, play, or draw for no one, but yourself.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:41 PM
Slowly.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, April 20, 2012
7:09 PM
I really can't wait for exams to be over.
It feels like I have so much do suddenly.
Must be the exam effect :/
lone wolf syndrome.
12:02 AM
I've said it before.
Amazing people don't need validation to be amazing. They'll be amazing by their own fucking selves.
Look down on them. Underestimate them. Go ahead.
Because that will just make them shine brighter than you could ever imagine.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
11:10 PM
I used to pity Chris Medina for being the ultimate nice guy till the end.
But I've come to realise that he doesn't need pity. He's happy, probably happier than many people out there in the world today. He's doing what he wants and not what the world wants him to do.
And he found someone that he could give up his entire life and all his dreams for, because he knew that that person would have probably done the same for him. I'm sorry, Mr Medina.
You never deserved my pity. Only my admiration.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:13 AM
Sometimes I wonder how I should say some things.
But then I forget that sometimes, some things don't really need to be said.
:)
P.S. Probably the first smiley on this blog in close to 3 years I guess.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
9:28 PM
The past holds all of us back.
And it's not easy to let it go.
But it becomes easier to understand what other people are going through.
And it becomes easier to accept that the past is real.
lone wolf syndrome.
8:10 PM
I realised more people may actually read this blog than I think :/
Scary.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:06 PM
We are never really alone in adversity despite how much we'd like to think that we are.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, April 16, 2012
11:54 PM
Oh damn, he's using a pad and playing a fighting game too. Sorry, nerdgasm :/
lone wolf syndrome.
11:49 PM
You make me feel a way I've not felt in a long time.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
11:33 PM
Hmm, interesting.
lone wolf syndrome.
7:21 PM
I don't understand why everyone I meet seems to be afraid to meet my gaze.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:23 PM
Preconceived notions are perhaps the world's most dangerous things.
They are created before the fact is
And exist after the act stays
They are ideas, thoughts and beliefs
The hardest things to ever change
And the greatest weapons man has ever made
Their defusal does not come easy
Their threat is great; their threat is many
And the saddest thing is
They are a disease that everyone receives
So today, just throw away
Your preconceived notions and try
To see beyond yourself
To destroy your limits and bias
And in the same act
Open yourself and your horizons infinitely.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
6:30 PM
I should just study/play more video games and think less about life.
lone wolf syndrome.
3:21 PM
Fate. I think it really does exist.
lone wolf syndrome.
3:20 PM
If you are a bee in a dark room, the faintest lightbulb looks like the same sun that guides you home. But please, don't fly to it, you should save your energy and wait until real dawn. Please, sleep.
I know you'll ignore this and kill yourself, trying to fly through the hot glass of that bulb, to that fake sun. I just thought I should say something.
Today I realised more than ever that people are really weak.
And they are afraid to confront that weakness. They are afraid to do something for their own sakes.
They'd rather leave that responsibility to someone else. Because it negates disappointment, it absolves them from the possibility of failure.
They'd rather someone determine their lives for them, they'd rather they try and become something they're not than stand up and try to resist, they'd rather hide their unhappiness and accept than try to change things.
I am like that too. But I only hide my unhappiness when I am unable to do anything to change it. I cannot live with myself if I was presented with an opportunity to try and make a difference and I did not seize it.
I cannot accept the fact that someone else will decide my life for me. Any chance, no matter how small to attempt to confront that inevitability, I will take.
Maybe I'll fail. Maybe I'll succeed. Either, I know I'll be happier.
Because happiness is the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, April 01, 2012
1:42 AM
Looking back on all the poems I've written thus far, I can see the refining of the way I write.
When I started, I was more obsessed with having the words rhyme more than anything.
Slowly, I moved out of them and realised that poems can be poems even if they don't rhyme.
I played with other ways to make them poetic; structure of the stanzas, the structure of the sentences, sometimes they rhymed, sometimes they didn't. As long as they sounded right, it was fine.
I don't know how to explain this feeling of words feeling right. It's not like it has to rhyme, but rather suit the flow of the prose. It's weird, it's like the way I write essays too. If a word is too repetitive, used too many times, it just isn't right. If it feels inappropriately powerful or bland for the context, it isn't right as well.
Right-ness need not be a measurable, quantifiable quality as well. It could possibly differ from person to person, but yet it can be appreciated for its very quality when read. It allows you to understand the message the author was trying to convey, the little nuances and qualities of his tone (despite it not being spoken), his expression.
Yeah, I guess focusing on writing the right words, rather than the best words made me write better stuff.
