Thought the other one sounded weirdly short for some reason lol
lone wolf syndrome.
2:29 AM
Have to just have faith, hope and try.
Whatever happens, happens.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 28, 2012
If I walk would you run, if I stop would you come?
12:54 AM
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
2:26 AM
They say, if you love something, set it free.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
10:14 PM
I don't know if I'm thinking too much or if I'm being paranoid but it sometimes feels like you're trying to tell me something.
But... it was you who told me
"Don't be so nice to me."
And I did just that thinking it was what you wanted.
lone wolf syndrome.
3:16 AM
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 21, 2012
9:57 AM
It's hard to fall asleep when your heart is constantly thinking of someone and your head has to tell it stop.
lone wolf syndrome.
9:40 AM
And the emptiest people have the biggest hearts.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:13 AM
要好好学著去生活, 小猪.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
2:25 AM
I shouldn't think about it too much.
I think I've done my best. More than I ever have, in fact.
Your move, Fate.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
10:36 PM
Misunderstood again.
This was the most disappointing revelation.
Now I get it. What I was expecting wasn't reciprocity. But understanding.
I thought that because we were similar in our situations, you would understand.
But I guess even that isn't enough.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:56 AM
The relief I felt today finally finding that one shop that sold paper bags along Beach Road/Arab Street was nothing compared to the relief I felt when you talked to me.
And it's not that the relief I felt when I found the shop was small. I scoured half of Singapore to find a plain brown paper bag with no handles. Especially the last portion where I was walking around the shop houses near Golden Landmark under the sun for a good hour, based off a single tip from the internet dated 4 years ago.
Then I saw the coveted shop selling plastic and paper bags and it was like the sky cleared and the heavens opened and trumpets played and I realised I could finally go back, take a shower, eat lunch and make what I wanted.
But when you spoke to me. When we sat down and you said what you had to... It was like the biggest doubts I'd harboured, the countless negative scenarios I had painted in my head prior to meeting you to brace myself for the worst, and most importantly, the fear I had let breed in my heart - faded away.
It wasn't the sky that cleared. It wasn't the heavens that opened. It was more. It wasn't something outside of me, it was something inside.
Thank you, P.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
11:33 PM
I hate the feeling of deleting entire blog posts because they don't capture what I want to say.
Or because they capture what I say too literally. And it misses the essence altogether.
Sorry, P. I really didn't mean it that way.
lone wolf syndrome.
11:20 PM
I was just trying... to make sure you made the decision you wanted to make.
And not the decision I wanted.
But it looks like I gave the impression of it being the other way round instead.
lone wolf syndrome.
7:32 PM
Is it weird that you can miss someone more when they are closer by but not by your side rather than if they were further away and nowhere near you?
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
1:27 AM
Everytime I look at the pictures, that day at Sentosa feels like a dream I wish I could relive over and over again and never get bored of.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:06 AM
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Sincerity
11:50 PM
People sometimes focus too much on the outcome and neglect the process.
And that devoids it of effort, of quality, of intrinsic satisfaction.
And instead it replaces it with longing, with expectation, and with extrinsic motivation.
We should place emphasis on the journey and not the destination, of the roads walked and sights seen and not of how fast or how well we got there. The measure of action should not be in its ultimate result, but in the sincerity held when carrying it out.
lone wolf syndrome.
9:02 PM
Love is always bestowed as a gift -- freely, willingly, without expectation. We don't love to be loved, we love to love. - Prof Felice Leonardo "Leo" Buscaglia
Some things in life are not a means to an end but an end in itself.
But it does get hard sometimes. Things aren't always so simple else the world would be a much happier place.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:22 AM
you bring out the best in me
like no one else can do
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Stutter
9:53 PM
It's like stuttering, but only that I don't speak.
When I pick up my phone, key in something
Then hit delete.
Always trying to find an excuse to chat,
start some conversation
because it makes me smile when I see a new text.
But I stutter and I try
Yet never seem to be able to complete
That one sentence.
I keep telling myself, maybe you'll have something later
But my words always run dry
And I'm not sure if they'll reach you.
It's strange; I could talk about anything to you
face-to-face
But when there's this strange medium
it feels like you're light-years away.
lone wolf syndrome.
6:27 PM
All the time.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:29 PM
I know right?
I know better that anyone else in the world.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:16 PM
Now I think about it, I was just being a nuisance last night
I have no idea what I was thinking :/
You're really dumb sometimes, Bryan.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:48 AM
I guess if it's meant to be, it will find its way.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:37 AM
I thought I'd help one heart sleep a little lighter tonight.
Looks like I made 2 hearts go to bed heavier instead.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, May 11, 2012
4:57 PM
Maybe too much thinking is unnecessary.
Just do what I want and hope for the best.
lone wolf syndrome.
11:05 AM
At that familiar yet uncomfortable crossroads again. Press on? Or give up?
And I'm someone who really hates giving up.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
11:44 PM
Just thankful to be appreciated, no matter what might happen in future.
lone wolf syndrome.
11:43 PM
May you do the things you want to and always remember what it felt like when you were doing them.
Gah, Hollandaise sauce is an emulsion. Can't chill it or it separates into its component ingredients :/
Looks like I have to think of something else.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
You can take everything I have, you can break everything I am
11:29 PM
Two of my favourite youtube singers. What could be better?
lone wolf syndrome.
10:33 PM
Tomorrow will actually be a tricky day.
Have to get my hair cut, figure out if I can purchase/make Hollandaise sauce, go do some grocery shopping and pay my fine. Seems like way too many things in a single day.
lone wolf syndrome.
7:41 PM
Sometimes life feels so surreal when I stare out of my window at the evening sky.
I would have never noticed these things if I had not tried looking for the things in my life that I've been taking for granted, rather than looking for new things.
People say you should let go of your past and move on. I disagree. Without the past, there is no meaning to the future. Without a reference to what you don't have, there is no meaning to what you already possess. Everything in this world is relative and the past is a reminder of that relativity, both insomuch as it is for yourself as it can be for others.
Instead of forgetting the past, instead of letting go and moving on, I think people should instead embrace their past of part of themselves. Accept the reality then, in order to appreciate the reality now. If you forget or let go and move on, you've basically achieved nothing. You've lived like you've wasted your life. But if you accept your past as part of yourself but refuse to let it determine who you are and who you are going to be, you gain something. Wisdom.
If you move forward with your past, you learn to accept things that happen or don't, whether for better or worse. You know that things may happen and people may come and go, but you're still going to do the things that make you happy. Because you know from your past that memories linger and they don't go away. So why fill your memories with unhappy moments when you could fill them with happy ones?
lone wolf syndrome.
3:17 AM
That familiar feeling.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, May 07, 2012
6:29 PM
Even after the entire world has taken me apart, there's still a part of me left for you.
It was a rhetorical question. I really didn't know you still read this at all.
lone wolf syndrome.
10:48 AM
也许是这样吧,不是我要不理你而是我要慢慢不理我自己的感情.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, May 06, 2012
11:09 PM
People always chase what they want, and take for granted the things they need.
We need to want less and and want the things we need more to appreciate them.
lone wolf syndrome.
11:05 PM
Weird, somehow making plans for the week seems to cluster the end of the week with activities and leave the start of the week relatively free :/
What sorcery is this?
lone wolf syndrome.
5:08 AM
It's like I set myself a deadline and told him to move on after that.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, May 04, 2012
The Escapist's Lament
11:32 PM
When your head is too full and your heart is too empty
And the scars that cover you are just too many
You seek out a place to escape, to hide
To get away from all the emptiness inside
But no matter how much you run or how well you conceal
Time and time again it reveals
The very same reason you chose to flee
Away from all the possibilities
Because you could no longer imagine what it would be
To just be alone by yourself without anybody
And yet at the same time, afraid
To reach out and try, to be hurt again
So instead the choice you take
Is the one devoid of ultimate fate
You choose to stay stagnant and avoid
All the shit life throws at you and think
"It's ok, I won't be affected anyway"
But still you hope, you long for and linger
Exactly what you said you would avoid.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Evening Gold
11:17 PM
Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
- Robert Frost
lone wolf syndrome.
8:48 PM
The constant reminder to never expect, demand or assume saved me from any hurt this time. I tried to hope and not expect at the same time, but I realised it was difficult. Hope in itself carries some form of expectations, not on others, but maybe for yourself, or for the circumstances. Despite that, I suppose the attempt in itself helped me from not expecting too much.
I'm also grateful that this time it was different. Very grateful. And I guess being through worse has also made me appreciate what I have now. Guess this is what they mean by growing up.
But it also makes me realise how much I took things for granted a long time ago. But given the circumstances then, I'm not sure if it would have been any different.
F., where do you think we'll be now if I was the person then that I am today?
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, May 02, 2012
10:33 PM
Well, hope got me this far. Let's just see how much further it can take me I guess. I might run on empty again, but I guess I have to try to find out.
lone wolf syndrome.
10:27 PM
Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake opening my heart to hope again.
I feel really vulnerable sometimes.
lone wolf syndrome.
6:00 PM
You're wrong. The question is not "How many times can your heart be broken?" The question is "How many times can it heal?"
People are not afraid to be hurt.
They are afraid they may never love again.
lone wolf syndrome.
5:58 PM
After a daily checking of stats for the past few weeks, I have come to the conclusion that all Singaporeans who read this use either a Mac or an iPhone to do so. Interesting.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
4:02 PM
Fear, apathy, ignorance.
Sometimes I cannot decide which is the greatest evil.
