Oh perhaps it's because all the positive things I believed in have been proven to be untrue time and time again while my negative beliefs are constantly justified by real life examples around me.
I really, really, sincerely try my best to be optimistic whenever possible, but life says no. It says, "Too bad, you were wrong. Who asked you to reach out and take the hope we offered? You should know it's a drug by now. One that gets you hooked and causes you to crash when you stop."
I try my best, but it's getting increasingly hard and I'm so tired at times.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:13 AM
I realised I really like to use the word "sometimes"... :/
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
2:46 PM
Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much about people just by looking at them.
It feels like I have a thousand secrets to keep and no one to tell it to.
Or rather, who'd believe me even if I told them?
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
10:50 PM
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bad person. Or a terrible person. Because of the way I've treated people in the past.
Then real evil rears it's ugly head to remind what it really is like. And I feel better. And I know it's not self consolation either.
lone wolf syndrome.
Monday, October 22, 2012
1:22 AM
Be who you are and the rest should follow.
lone wolf syndrome.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
7:41 PM
Sometimes, there is no easy way.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:58 PM
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much.
And my scars remind me that the past is real.
I tear my heart open, just to feel.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, October 19, 2012
10:58 PM
You own this hand now. Because when I close my hand around your hand, I can feel your hand, feeling mine. And it feels the same.
I know what you mean :) even though it's a long time ago.
lone wolf syndrome.
2:08 AM
Stop.
I can hear them say.
Don't go over the edge again. You won't like what you find down there. You've never really liked what you find down there. ... Ok maybe you have, but it's never really made you happy. Stay safe. Stay here.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
12:22 AM
This generation and it's ridiculous inflated sense of entitlement. And by this generation, I don't mean my generation. I mean us. I mean the people alive now.
You've all been taking everything for granted and yet you have the balls to tell others to appreciate what they have. Seriously? Everything you own, everything you have, everything you possess, was not earnt by you. It was built by the tens of thousands of people who came before. It was the blood, sweat and tears of other people and not just yourself.
That freedom you're enjoying now. That's the most taken for granted thing in the history of mankind. Regardless of this social construct we call race, regardless of the origins of our birthright, regardless of our current geopolitical boundaries, you could have very well not have that freedom if you were born at the wrong time - slavery exists in all corners of the world in some point in history.
Your fucking freedom was fought for. It was earned. And even if it wasn't, someone fought for that right, it was the toil of another. Maybe you descended from slave traders, oh no, it's hardly a bad thing. It was a the norm back then. It was a good thing, in fact. There was something about your birthright that allowed you to dominate others. You were from powerful blood. And you dare to take it for granted.
You dare to say that freedom is a given right. Freedom to do as you like. To encroach on the freedom of others. To remove their freedoms, to deprive them of choice. Well, my friend, it isn't. Nothing in this world is given. Nothing in this world is free. No one owes you anything, let alone a living, and if you think you deserve something, that you're entitled to it, think again. Claw your way up a thousand years of history and bloodshed and then whatever you earn with your own two hands belongs to you and solely you alone.
You are entitled to moot. You deserve shit. You own nothing and you people disgust me. Grow up for fuck's sake.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:10 AM
Please let me sleep.
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
3:03 AM
Every wait is worthwhile in its own way.
lone wolf syndrome.
Friday, October 12, 2012
10:23 AM
I have finally stopped having fucked up dreams/nightmares and nice, happy, fantasy like dreams for the first time this week.
Thank god. I bet I'd have gone crazy if I had to wake up every night and stay awake for 10 mins to shake off the memories of the previous dream so I don't resume it when I go back to sleep and then painfully try to fall asleep again.
lone wolf syndrome.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
8:25 PM
Good things never last forever.
That's why they're good things.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
11:25 PM
Why does everyone misuse the term 'lisp' to represent every fucking speech impediment that ever existed?
No, you probably have no idea what a lisp is. I have a lisp, albeit a very slight one but still a lisp. No, I can pronounce my th's and f's perfectly. I can pronounce my z's perfectly, my s's perfectly. A lisp isn't really an impediment as it is a physical attribute or habit. It's the weak or whistly 's' sound that is produced when one says certain words, mostly at the 's' portion of the word, but not always. It can manifest for example between a bilabial stop (b's and p's) and fricatives (v's, f's, ect), or with word formations that cause easing of the bilabial stop.
It feels like your sound can't finish itself. Like it dies slightly prematurely and comes out as a wheezing gust of air which then concludes with a sssss sound. The term 'lisp' was invented probably because the habit manifests itself most frequently when pronouncing that very word!
Yes, so please don't go around saying people have a lisp. They probably have short tongues or weird accents. A lisp, highly unlikely.
lone wolf syndrome.
11:17 PM
You and I both know, the dark doesn't make the bruises disappear.
Why do you think people call their trump cards "secret weapons"?
lone wolf syndrome.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
11:12 PM
Expectation is the source of all disappointment and hope is the source of all sorrow.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:59 AM
There is a big difference between being a nice person and a good person.
I'm not a nice person, but I try my best to be a good person.
lone wolf syndrome.
1:44 AM
I get annoyed when you don't shut up.
And I can't sleep because you keep bugging me inside my head.
lone wolf syndrome.
Thursday, October 04, 2012
12:42 AM
You've made me so afraid of so many things.
lone wolf syndrome.
The type of love you must want
12:26 AM
Yeah, you're totally right.
lone wolf syndrome.
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
7:27 PM
So many things don't surprise me anymore.
Sometimes I think I'm becoming desensitized to the filth this world has to offer.
lone wolf syndrome.
12:48 AM
Sometimes people change so much it scares me.
It scares me not that they've become something they're not, but rather that they've already forgotten who they were.
Poof! Out of the window. Out of sight, out of mind. That person I once was is no longer me! I am a new me!
... Yeah, you wish. The you you were is part of the you you are. And until you choose to accept that, you can never be a new person. Only a person pretending to be new. Only a person who thinks they've changed but in reality are so shackled and ashamed of the past they cannot face. Yes, shackled. No matter how free you think you are, you are forever bound by the past.
At least, until you can accept it.
And accepting means remembering. It means acknowledging. It means coming to the conclusion that the you you were then and the you you are now are not really that much different. Deep down inside you are still the same person. What's really changed is the way people react to you. The way they treat you. The way they used to talk about you behind your back and now they sing praises of you in your face. But what has changed really? You haven't changed, heavens, no. People have changed. Maybe something about them changed. But you've stayed the same.
Accept that, and bam. You're truly free. You're a new you.
